Problems, problems, and more problems.....lol. I don't think I played a single session of poker the entire month of September, if I did play a session, it was probably too small to remember. I just have had no motivation to play, which probably has to something to do with these reasons:
1) Playing very low limits- I'm playing the $6 45 mans, and its just hard for me to enjoy playing and putting in a good amount of volume when at best i'll make like maybe $2500 in a month.....boring as fuck in other words.
2) I'm not sure if I can even beat the 45 mans.....these things are fucking reg infested....which normally i'm completely fine playing against regs, as i'm certain I have at least a small edge on most and at very worst give up a small edge to the very good players. The problem I find with these games now is that there are a good number of regs who play the $6's for a living, they just mass multi-table (30+ Tabling).....and these particular regs, even tho they are probably on auto-pilot playing so many tables may have better push/fold games than me.
3) My results have been super devastating.....regular speed 9 mans, and 200 nl cash are games I know I can beat....I have a large enough sample in both to know that I can beat those games and downswings don't hurt my confidence in those. But I cannot handle play 9 man regulars anymore as they take for fucking ever to play, and 200 nl cash I don't have the bankroll to play anymore since my going broke in style fiasco in vegas. So that left me trying new games, specifically the super turbo 9 mans on ftp and the 45 man turbos on stars. I have 900 games logged of super turbos and am -1%, now that could easily be just variance....but the fact that I don;t really KNOW if its me playing bad or running bad makes it seem like it could be a massive waste of my time. The 45 mans I love because I can 12 table them easily ( which is a ton for me lol ) but once again, im not sure if I am playing them correctly....I only have 450 games of these logged and am -3%....could be just a run bad streak again, but at the same time, it seems when I sharkscope the players in these fields a lot of them are regs, and a lot of them have good ROI's at the limits i'm playing....am I good enough to beat them? I don't know....the unknown is something I've always hated, I don't like investing my time into something if I don't know with absolute certainty that its going to show me a good profit. I review my hands on twoplustwo and sngWiz and everything seems like im playing pretty well, minus some spots im still learning about, but I can't help but thinking what if these posters are wrong? or what if SNGWiz is flawed? My brain is literally too negative and overactive all the damn time.
4) I've been super stressed and can't shut my brain off to sleep....so i've been sleeping like crap, my sleeping pills aren't working....so I generally wake up super late, groggy, with no motivation to do anything. I never expected to be back in MN this long, I thought I' be back in Vegas already and its really getting to my mental psyche. If you've ever read the book "The Secret" and believe it, like I do, you'll realize like I do a lot of the bad things that happen to me I bring on myself by thinking negatively about everything....and I try to change my negative attitude but I just can't seem to change that mindset....maybe I should get hypnotized or something haha.
I'll start trying to play some more again on Tuesday I think....I havent decided if I want to grind the 135 man rush tournies on tilt ( I've had a lot of good results in those ) or continue to bang away at the 45 mans and see if after 3k games if I can beat them.
I'm gonna play in 3 events at the Fall Poker Classic, so maybe i'll bink something huge there....worst case scenario, i'll break even from the whole fiasco playing the suer soft live games....I love live poker, not so much online, haha.
Anyway, just figured I'd update this beotch since its been over a month since my last post.
-Bakken out
1) Playing very low limits- I'm playing the $6 45 mans, and its just hard for me to enjoy playing and putting in a good amount of volume when at best i'll make like maybe $2500 in a month.....boring as fuck in other words.
2) I'm not sure if I can even beat the 45 mans.....these things are fucking reg infested....which normally i'm completely fine playing against regs, as i'm certain I have at least a small edge on most and at very worst give up a small edge to the very good players. The problem I find with these games now is that there are a good number of regs who play the $6's for a living, they just mass multi-table (30+ Tabling).....and these particular regs, even tho they are probably on auto-pilot playing so many tables may have better push/fold games than me.
3) My results have been super devastating.....regular speed 9 mans, and 200 nl cash are games I know I can beat....I have a large enough sample in both to know that I can beat those games and downswings don't hurt my confidence in those. But I cannot handle play 9 man regulars anymore as they take for fucking ever to play, and 200 nl cash I don't have the bankroll to play anymore since my going broke in style fiasco in vegas. So that left me trying new games, specifically the super turbo 9 mans on ftp and the 45 man turbos on stars. I have 900 games logged of super turbos and am -1%, now that could easily be just variance....but the fact that I don;t really KNOW if its me playing bad or running bad makes it seem like it could be a massive waste of my time. The 45 mans I love because I can 12 table them easily ( which is a ton for me lol ) but once again, im not sure if I am playing them correctly....I only have 450 games of these logged and am -3%....could be just a run bad streak again, but at the same time, it seems when I sharkscope the players in these fields a lot of them are regs, and a lot of them have good ROI's at the limits i'm playing....am I good enough to beat them? I don't know....the unknown is something I've always hated, I don't like investing my time into something if I don't know with absolute certainty that its going to show me a good profit. I review my hands on twoplustwo and sngWiz and everything seems like im playing pretty well, minus some spots im still learning about, but I can't help but thinking what if these posters are wrong? or what if SNGWiz is flawed? My brain is literally too negative and overactive all the damn time.
4) I've been super stressed and can't shut my brain off to sleep....so i've been sleeping like crap, my sleeping pills aren't working....so I generally wake up super late, groggy, with no motivation to do anything. I never expected to be back in MN this long, I thought I' be back in Vegas already and its really getting to my mental psyche. If you've ever read the book "The Secret" and believe it, like I do, you'll realize like I do a lot of the bad things that happen to me I bring on myself by thinking negatively about everything....and I try to change my negative attitude but I just can't seem to change that mindset....maybe I should get hypnotized or something haha.
I'll start trying to play some more again on Tuesday I think....I havent decided if I want to grind the 135 man rush tournies on tilt ( I've had a lot of good results in those ) or continue to bang away at the 45 mans and see if after 3k games if I can beat them.
I'm gonna play in 3 events at the Fall Poker Classic, so maybe i'll bink something huge there....worst case scenario, i'll break even from the whole fiasco playing the suer soft live games....I love live poker, not so much online, haha.
Anyway, just figured I'd update this beotch since its been over a month since my last post.
-Bakken out
posted by Bakken | 8:34 PM
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