Life can be a motherfucker sometimes. That's what I've come to learn about life, but I have to say that I now disagree that life is difficult, it certainly isn't easy, but it isn't hard either. People just tend to make things hard and attract bad things to themselves, life is like a game and you have to treat it that way. Easy games just simply aren't fun, you want a challenge to beat and that is what makes life so interesting with one challenge after another to beat. I have gone broke again for the fourth time in my life and for the same stupid reason, playing outside of my bankroll. And to add to my dilemmas, its the slow season at my part-time job, my girlfriend and I are finished, and its the fucking fall and I hate the fall. I feel all these things I have attracted to myself by having a bad attitude and being in a bad mood, but I have come to the conclusion that just like poker, life is a game that needs to be beat. You may take an unlucky break here or there, but as long as you're positive life will be easy and you will enjoy it no matter what happens or how stressed you are. I've also decided that its time to stop my fall and make the steps back to the top, I'm done worrying about other people, except for family and friends, and am thinking about myself for once. Its time for me to do what I have done in the past when going broke, buckle down, get a full-time job, save up some money and rebuild the bankroll. Everything else in my life right now that has been giving me problems is going to be treated like a losing hand of poker, you really don't want to fold it because you've put money in the pot, but sometimes its better to fold, swallow your losses, and move onto the next brand new hand.
On a positive note tho, I have taken on 3 proteges over the past 2 years teaching them what I know about the game of poker and how to become successful at it and make some extra income for them or even turn it into a living someday. Well, my first protege that I staked in college has been up and down for quite sometime now, but she was finally able to finish off paying the stake I gave her and have a bankroll for herself. She isn't quite to the level of a High No Limit player, but she has been consistently beating local cash games, and some low No Limit online stuff. I feel she now has the rock solid base in the game of No Limit hold'em and just needs to learn the intangibles that are so hard to teach. It does make me proud that she was able to become a better player because of the things I tried to teach her.
Lately I have gotten back into the whole working out thing and have even started running for 30 minutes everyday, it feels good and is such a good stress reliever. Its also nice to see your hard work payoff as I feel like I am in much better shape, have more energy, and have even gained seven pounds.
Six months from now this is where i'd like to be: 1)Back up and running and have a bankroll of roughly $10,000 2)Continue to stick to my workout regimen and weigh 175ish 3)Have most of my financial and legal troubles on lockdown, ie Insurance/Registration on my truck 4)Have a new vehicle 5) Living life to its fullest and just being happy with whatever is going on.
Anyway, thats pretty all I have for now, i'll try my best to keep this thing updated once a week so all you bastages stop bitching at me about my blog never being updated, lol

-Bakken out