I'm a little bummed that I have to get a job, but for right now I am a lot happier and less stressed, and I think it has to do with these reasons. #1. I HATE playing online for a living, its very stressful and I simply didn't enjoy playing like I used to, I still love playing live, but online just isn't for me. #2. Hopefully, I get this job at Summerlin, free golf, $5.15/hour, plus about $100/tips per day which is VERY nice. #3. I think since I won't be worrying about making bills at the end of the month i can enjoy everything more, I plan on playing live three times a week, and some online tournaments to re-aquaint (sp?) myself with the love of the game, since it won't be so important to win. All in all, going broke again has taught me more things about myself, and it will be nice to have a good paying job, and rebuilding my bankroll with less stress. I will probably be working and playing part-time until I turn 21 in September, and by that time I believe I'll have a big enough bankroll to play live for a living again. I LOVE playing live, this will also get me out of the apartment as I get cabin fever quite a bit. I think this will be good for me, and maybe I can start enjoying life out here in Las Vegas, who knows, I know I can play this game for a living, but maybe I'll discover I don't want to, I will probably be going back to school, and hopefully paying for it with poker. All in all, it will be interesting to see where I go and what conclusions I come to in my life in the next 6 months. I am excited to start playing the game for fun again, and am also excited to see my Old Man in a few weeks, hopefully I can still afford to go back home to the cabin and home a couple times this summer. That'll be all for now.

-Bakken

It's official, I am done with poker for quite sometime, at least on this fucking website pokerworld. I have ran absolutely hideously for 5 of 6 weeks that I have played there. Something has to be fucked with the software there, because there is no possible way I could've ran this bad for 30,000 hands without making donkey moves, and I havent made any donkey moves to cost me $3000. It just isn't possible, I am a winning player, it has been proven, I lost my last $1000 in the last three days, on a god awful streak again, losing countless $100-$300 pots on anything from 2 to 5 outters, I even lost a $600 pot with AA vs QQ money got in preflop, and of course he flops fucking quads. You figure you can only be at rock bottom for so long, but I have been here for awhile and I see no light. Its pretty funny how when I look back at previous blogs, they didnt start getting really negative until I started playing on this godforsaken website called pokerworld. Whats worse, is I can't find one fucking thing to write about that is positive. I truly hate online poker, but unfortunately I didn't have a big enough bankroll to play live for a living, the things that happen online just don't seem real, not to mention I hate staring at a fucking computer screen and not being able to get a read on people.
I am so frustrated and mentally drained right now, I dont even have a good time drinking anymore I have been so stressed out. Tomorrow, I am TPC of Summerlin and Buffalo Wild Wings to try and get a job for real this time, I have no more reserve funds, I am flat broke. I dont even enjoy playing poker online, I dont hate it, but dont enjoy it, except for big tourneys, but unfortunately online is the hell I must go through if I want to build a bankroll. I am so disheartened and depressed that I have to get a job, at least I wont have to pay taxes on poker now, and i'll be able to gain my residency and go back to school. I was looking forwardto my Old Man coming to town, but now I will prolly have to work and will have no money to do anything anyway, I never thought I'd say this but I wish I never left Minnesota until I was 21.

-Bakken